I can’t help but melt over the ethereal synths opening evilbaby‘s new song. She brings a mix of minimalist futuristic new age pop that just seems to slide into the mind, combined with her emotion-driven lyrics, which speak to her struggles with relationships while portraying past traumatic emotions in a unique way. Waiting and the mystery of reciprocity become a tortuous adventure that slowly eats away, sliding inside a tortuous spiral.
Today we are featuring her new music video and we had the chance to talk to her about her inspirations, her music and her story as an independent musician and artist. Check it our below!
1. What is your inspiration on creating this song?
The song is about a guy I was talking to on an online dating app during lockdown. He ghosted me haha but for some reasons, maybe lockdown or just my own personal trauma, it was a really big deal for me. Every interaction I have affects me really deeply, which makes me feel a bit lost within my own emotions. Lots of my songs are about people I barely knew, perhaps I’m really sensitive to abandonment.
2. Tell me more about the video
In the video I wanted to represent those feeling of betrayal and abandonment which take me over every time I’m involved with someone romantically. I’m alluding to some kind of demonic possession in the video, which brings back memories of past traumas and reckless behaviour. I came up with this idea and Singer Satu helped me film it. He’s such a gentle and quiet soul and I feel really comfortable working with him. It is very important for me to work with someone that I know or trust like that, even if it means having a smaller circle.
3. Can you tell us a little bit more of your creative process?
I’ve always worked with producers over the internet, I’m not really a fan of getting together in the studio to make music. I think this has also to do with the fact that as a woman it’s really easy to get into situations that are not safe for you, and unfortunately I’ve been there many times. I guess the internet allows me to have that safe space that the music industry is unable to give to women.
Regarding writing I have a diary where I write and draw every day, and it really helps me to put ideas in order, especially because I write about my feelings. As I mentioned I tend to feel all the feelings really intensely all the time, so keeping track of it on paper really helps to keep it under control. Even more when I’m writing a song, and I make the words fit in a verse or a melody, I feel like I finally tamed a beast haha.
4. When did you start song writing- creating music?
I come from a Fine Art/Performance Art background. I used to write scripts and poetry for my performances then on my last year of uni I decided that I was just going to write music from now on. I felt like I didn’t want to be scrutinised for every little move I made on stage so I distanced myself from galleries and taught myself to feel and go with the flow again. So I started something like 6 years ago now.
5. What’s the meaning behind “evilbaby”?
evilbaby is my new stage name. I think it represents a reminder for me to be brave. With all these really strong emotions you end up being scared of everything and shutting yourself away. So I had to reconnect to that part of me that I branded as “evil” and just accept in and embrace it but in baby doses, without letting it take you over.
6. What are your main inspirations?
I’m inspired by all the black women in rap music that are bossing it up at the moment like Rico Nasty, City Girls, Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B. I think it’s just so important to have role models of women that are not just submissive but are financially ambitious and own their sexuality. I am also inspired by all of that emo rap scene from Goth Boi Clique, I listen to Zubin a lot lately. In order to reconnect with my lovely “evil” self I have also been listening to a lot of Metal, Nu-Metal (I love Evanescence and I have a radio show on RTM fm called Bring Me To Life after their most famous song), Punk, and really discovering Emo music as well as where I grew up in Italy it wasn’t really known, or maybe I was too busy being a metalhead.
7. How is your process when creating new music?
As I mentioned I prefer writing on my own. The ideal would be for me to hire a rehearsal space so that I can hear my voice and the music loud and just write about whatever has been troubling me really. When I come out I feel much better haha
8. Tell us a little bit more about your dreams and aspirations
Well the ideal would obviously be to make music full time, but I’m not sure my music or even my process would fit in a label environment. Or maybe I feel like my music wouldn’t be as easy to monetize. Perhaps I struggle with the idea of it ‘cause it feels so personal too. I think just like everyone else at the moment after lockdown I’m just figuring out what I want to do.
9. Tell us a little more about you
So I came to London from Italy when I was 19, just on my own, I was studying Pharmacology and hated it and kind of escaped to come to London and study Fine Arts. So I did my BA at Goldsmiths and since I finished I have been working dumb jobs and making my music on the side. It’s not really sustainable you know, I’m tired, working full time and fitting my music in my only 2 days off. But writing music is just something that is so naturally part of my life and has helped me to deal with hardships all this time and I don’t think I can really stop it or I don’t even want to. It feels like there is a lot of uncertainty in your future as a musician, nobody really knows. I just keep writing and hope for the best!
10. What do you want to achieve with your music
I think the nature of my music is really therapeutic. There is always the idea that when you are sad or not feeling right, it helps to feel like there is someone else that feels like you and you’re not some kind of an alien.
edition by Will Soer
words by Amber Rachel Davies
Photos and video by SATU